Shoplifting

It's only called shoplifting if you get caught, otherwise it's just helping yourself.

So what, it's more exciting if you know people are watching why do you think your reputation is in tatters in the first place. When I said take it home you're the one that went behind the bins not me. Frankly I'm still healing.

Are you taking this or what? If not let's go get a coffee I've got shit I wanna do today. Otherwise put your greasy little mits around it and gentley slid it under your shirt.  That's it nice and slowly, what a star, now if only we can get you out of Poundland and into HSBC we'll be sorted.

Quantum Leap

You remember that episode of Quantum Leap where Al and Sam switched places, well get ready...

A Dog's Life

You know they shit in there?

And nothing, that isn't really the point. It may seem like a good idea now but trust me you'll feel like shit in about 10 minutes I guarantee it.

Oh in we go, that's actually pretty good. Move over.

Undercover Investigation

It's just as you thought, six nipples.

Getting Dressed

I really don't like this orange beret, it makes me look stupid. Change it.

That's not funny, what makes you think a fez is any better? Save it for the holiday.

That's a no on clown shoes as well.

Yes it does piss me off, you're crossing a line.

I don't care if only you can see me, that's not the point.

Look just give me back my leather jacket and comb or we'll have a problem.

What did I just say?

Fine if you want to play it like this then that's fine by me. Just don't expect any back-up at the board meeting later.

Competition Time

I've just heard Jeff giving what should've been our supervisor's job to Shelia.  I think it's time we showed her the photographs.

A Quandary

Bollocks, that is not the face of a post surgical patient, that's an abortion mope if ever I've seen one. Look at her eyes, there is no life there, healing has long since lost its hold. Besides she got her boobs realigned last year. I'm thinking Carl up in accounts but why she'd kill his baby I'll never know, she won't do any better and he's such a lovely guy, although apparently his therapy skills aren't on par with what I've been hearing.

Wishing

You do realise Hogwarts isn't a real place right?

Japes

It's not blackmailing if you have nothing to gain, what we're doing is simply fun.

Hippyfest

It's not the TV they really are that old.