Christmas Pie

Honestly my knowledge on this one is just as limited as yours.  Just taste it.  If you get a whiff of spaghetti bolognese then work with it, if it tastes like Aunt Jenny's fruit cake then hide it in a napkin or something.

Shit someone's coming I'm gonna hide behind this curtain, let me know how it goes.

She Started It

Damn fashion ego.  If she's going to swan around with that bloody eye patch on she might as well be using it properly.  An eye for an eye that's the rule and don't worry, it isn't revenge 'cos she started it.

I Can Still Feel It

Here's a jam tart, now shut your face and stop whining about something that happened nine days ago.

Midnight Happenings

I don't think it was a Succubus, it definitely had a cock.

Science

You don't have to put it in the microwave.  Then again you don't have to go through life being a pussy.

Being Mean

You don't think that was cowardly?  I mean what the fuck are you going to do with a false leg?  And if you say the word trophy in your next sentence you'll lose your last respect point.

Moral Boost

You're worthless in my eyes.

A Little Bit Of Fun

Pete is such an arse, I mean who wears a sailor outfit these days anyway?  If your interested in getting your own back I know a good VD guy.  

Stolen Pants

Okay it was me who stole those pants just don't tell anyone.

Driving Time

I think you should keep driving, it doesn't look like she's getting up.

Afraid Of The Dark

If you want my co-operation tomorrow you'll man the fuck up and turn off that damn night light.

The Sickness

Aids? Get you head out of the news and give me a sore elbow. I'm not going out like this.

Future Of Transport

Buses, now there's a notion.

Where's The Empathy?

The Driver's right, I don't want to sit next to a man who smells of shit.  I didn't push him.

Chance Tosser

Okay Einstein, how do you propose to get out?

Hair Cutz

You're not fooling anyone with that ponytail.

Dress Up

I swear, if you make me wear that pink hat I'll turn your self belief into a punching bag!

The Meet And Greet

I hate tea parties, you always try and set me up with some attention seeking dullard and the whole thing always gets messy.

More Disappointment

I've told you before, you're far too synical to be hypnotised.

It's Heaving Again

I told you to bring a coat silly.

Past Chomping

For fuck's sake we all remember Opal Fruits, get over it!

Dilemma

Try and avoid it all you want but we both know you're going to rape him.

In The Evening

Don't be silly, of course I sleep.  You just don't notice because we do it at the same time.  Did you think I spent my nights hunched over your bed instilling you with nightmares?

You're so funny.

You Did A Good Thing

You we're right to intervene, who knows what have happened if she'd tried it a second time.

I'm So Done With Work

Forget the spreadsheet let's go play!!!

Morning

God you're fantastic.  And sexy.